Staying grounded during Black Friday and festive season spending – insights from coach practitioners

In an age of instant gratification and endless choice, the practice of conscious consumerism invites us to pause and notice what’s really driving our decisions. It’s not about guilt or restraint but about reclaiming agency – aligning what we buy and how we give with who we are and what we truly value.

So, what actually happens in our human brain when we see a deal?

Coaching manager at Sacap (the South African College of Applied Psychology) and ICF credentialed coach, Kaylynn Philander says: “Humans are inherently wired to recognise opportunity. This means our brains respond positively to news of ‘a special’ long before we make a conscious decision to buy. Discounts and deals activate our brain’s dopamine-driven reward pathway, igniting anticipation and giving us a surge of emotional excitement. That rush isn’t about the product itself – it’s just our brain’s reward system lighting up because of the possibility of getting something for less. It’s the deal that hooks us, not the item.”

When the advertising messages include urgency cues like countdown timers or 'only a few left' copy, the amygdala of our brain kicks in, triggering a subtle sense of threat and fear of missing out (FOMO) that pushes us to quick action. In these heightened states of arousal, the rational part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex, takes a backseat. This means it is harder to pause, gather our thoughts and resist acting on impulse. Even the most disciplined shoppers can find themselves swept up in the moment, and conscious consumerism becomes much harder in high-stimulus shopping periods such as Black Friday and gift-giving season.

Leadership development coach, Michaela Mahes adds: “We make most of our buying decisions based on market stimuli, and you will notice as we approach Black Friday and year-end festivities, the music is louder in stores, and there's much more advertising online, and on radio and TV. We need to understand the intention of our purchases. Do I really need this or am I being sucked into the hype and adrenaline in the moment? What am I feeling ahead of this purchase? We tend to spend more when we are emotionally charged; stressed, anxious or joyful as our logical thinking is compromised.”

Seeking validation, comfort or connection through our shopping carts

So much of our spending has less to do with the items than the emotional need it promises to meet. Mahes explains: “Most often we purchase an item to make us feel special and significant. One of our basic human needs is ‘belonging’ and advertising often touches on our emotions to make us feel that if we purchase the goods, we will experience a greater sense of belonging.”

During high-stimulus periods like Black Friday, it’s natural to feel a desire to feel included, recognised or 'part of something'. The potent mix of comparison culture, marketing hype and adrenaline-filled urgency can easily tip us into buying for identity instead of need. Understanding this emotional undercurrent reframes conscious consumerism not as financial restraint, but as emotional literacy, and helps us take back our agency when it comes to spending.

This is where coaching becomes a powerful ally. Conscious consumerism starts with unpacking the intentions behind our spending choices. Coaching helps people slow down enough to make that possible. Michaela says: “Often people require deep personal reflection and self-awareness with coaching support to unpack their core values and goals. Coaching also helps identify spending patterns. Through a process of prioritisation, clients can apply greater mindfulness to manage the distractions which are heightened this time of year.”

Kaylynn points out that coaching and conscious consumerism invite us into awareness: “Just as coaching helps us tune into our thoughts, emotions and triggers, conscious consumerism encourages us to recognise what is driving our spending choices. Are we buying from a place of genuine need, and in alignment with our values – or from emotion, impulse or comparison? Emotional regulation allows us to step back from the instant gratification that marketing often plays on, creating space for more grounded, values–based decisions. In essence, both coaching and conscious consumerism practices cultivate the same muscle – awareness in action.”

Tips for making conscious decisions during the upcoming shopping season

High–stimulus shopping periods like Black Friday don’t have to leave you feeling out of control. Both Michaela Mahes and Kaylynn Philander offer practical tools to help you pause, plan, and make intentional choices:

Plan ahead

Making a list of shopping essentials, treats within your means, and year-end gifts starts you off in a position of control. Check in with yourself to stay aligned with your budget, priorities, and longer-term goals.

Pause and notice

Develop a habit of pausing before purchasing, especially if it’s an item not on your list. Ask yourself: Do I truly need/want this? Does it align with my values? Am I buying out of emotion, comparison, or impulse? How does it affect my budget? These awareness cues, used in the moment puts you in charge and can prevent spending you’ll later regret.

Be mindful of marketing triggers

Notice the scarcity messages, countdown timers, pop–up adverts, and 'only two left' alerts that are designed to trigger urgency and FOMO. Recognise them, resist the pressure to act immediately and use your awareness cues to lead you to a decision that is aligned with your actual needs, your values and priorities.

Avoid high-stimulus spaces

If busy malls or crowded online platforms make you more vulnerable to impulse buying, schedule shopping for quieter times or create boundaries that reduce temptation online. Michaela notes that even when shopping online for essentials, pop-up adverts can interfere with conscious purchases – staying alert is key.

Align your end-of-year purchases with your longer-term goals

Keep sight of what truly matters. Prioritise your upcoming necessities, financial plans, and personal goals. This allows you to enjoy treats and gift-buying without overspending.

Conscious consumerism isn’t about denying yourself – it’s about making choices that serve you, rather than the marketing hype.

Conscious gift-giving – from transaction to intention

End-of-year and festive gift-giving can easily go awry if you are worrying about keeping up with trends or feeling pressure to spend. As Kaylynn explains: “Meaningful giving begins with reflection. Ask yourself: ‘What do I really want this gift to express?’ In your answer, you will find an anchor for giving in appreciation and authenticity. Sometimes that might mean gifting an experience or quality time or even something handmade. Or perhaps, making a donation to a worthy cause on behalf of the recipient. You’re making a shift from transaction to intention, which means giving in a way that reflects your values and deepens relationships.”

By reframing gifting in this way, the emphasis moves from gift-giving as a performance to an act of emotional connection. In conscious gift-giving each choice carries intention, presence, and genuine care.

As the year-end rush accelerates, reclaiming your agency through conscious consumerism offers a way to stay centred in a shopping season designed to overwhelm and tempt. Whether we’re shopping for ourselves or giving to others, the real opportunity lies in responding with awareness and choosing with clarity and authentic connection in mind.

Learn more about Sacap’s accredited Coach Practitioner Programme and Advanced Coaching Practitioner programme here.